Rules and Reasons
by Griselda Banks
Summary: Oneshot. Postseries. Curiosity killed the cat, the apple never falls far from the tree, and when it rains it pours. Some married EdWin, but no pairings are the focus of this story.


**Author's Note: I've played around with the idea of Ed and Al telling their children their story, but it wasn't until now that I actually got around to coming up with a scenario for it. I might also note that this story takes place after my fic "Metal, Jealousy, and Human Transmutation," but you don't necessarily have to have read that to understand this one. Oh, and something went weird in the document manager, so if you see question marks in strange places, you'll know why. **

Nina Elric, eldest daughter of Edward and Winry Elric, had many rules to follow. 'Don't touch the stove,' 'Come back home before dark,' and 'No swimming in the river unless you're with Mommy, Daddy, or Uncle Al' were just a few. Her parents were by no means over-protective, but they cared about the safety of their children. Nina understood why they gave her all these rules, why they told her to watch out for her younger sister, Trisha, and be careful with little Sara. It was for her own protection, and the safety of others. One rule was a little different ('That part of the river is _strictly_ off-limits'), but at the age of ten she was old enough to figure out that it was Uncle Al's special place to go off by himself when he needed to be alone. She understood this; her special place was at the very top of the tree in their front yard, at the intersection of two branches, because she was the only one who could climb up there. Trisha would lock herself in the bathroom when she needed to be alone; Mommy would go to the workshop; Daddy would shut himself up in the study. She understood the rule that she was not to bother someone when they were in their special place, unless it was an emergency.

These rules made sense, but there was one she didn't understand. One day, in one of her alchemy lessons with Trisha and her father, they had come across a mention of something called 'human transmutation.' "What's that, Daddy?" she had asked, pointing to the words.

A strange, stone-like look had crossed his face then. "I won't be teaching you that, Nina. It's a dangerous branch of alchemy, not one suited for little girls like yourselves."

"But Daddy-"

"No!" he had suddenly cried, his golden eyes flashing angrily. He had snapped the book shut and said, "I don't want to hear either of you talking of this ever again, understand?"

Trisha had nodded, her eyes wide and a little frightened to see their normally gentle father like this.

"Nina," he had said sternly.

Nina had looked into her father's eyes, trying to find some reason for him to demand such a thing when he usually encouraged his daughters' natural curiosity. But his eyes had been as inexpressive as though they really were made of gold. So she had had no choice but to hang her head and say softly, "Yes, Daddy."

And that had been the end of it. Neither her father nor her sister ever brought human transmutation up again, but Nina couldn't stop wondering about it. Once she had been scanning an alchemy reference book when she had chanced upon 'human transmutation.' The definition wasn't very descriptive; it only briefly mentioned that some theorized it was a method of bringing the dead back to life. This was not enough to satisfy her curiosity. Another time, she had been outside, playing with Trisha on the day after their father had left on one of his State Alchemist trips. In the middle of their game, Nina had seized her chance and said, "Hey, Trisha. Don't you ever wonder what that human transmutation stuff was about?"

Trisha had looked horrified. "But Sister, we're not supposed to talk about that! Daddy said so!"

Nina had given her sister a sly sideways smile. "Ah, but Daddy's not here now, is he?"

Trisha had touched her older sister's arm lightly, looking anguished. "But that doesn't mean we can just disobey him! Think of how disappointed he'd be if he found out!"

Nina had huffed out an irritated sigh and pulled her arm away. "Okay, okay, fine! I was just wondering, that's all!"

Nina might never have pursued the topic further (Trisha's words had made a lot of sense), had something not happened a couple weeks later that turned their little family upside-down.

At first, Nina didn't think too much of the sickness Sara had come down with. She had had a horrible fever herself one time, with vomiting and diarrhea to go along with it. But the sickness had passed in a few days, so she wasn't too concerned when her youngest sister fell ill. She played with Trisha outside just like normal, and left the care of her sister to her mother. The first tinglings of worry appeared when her father came home after only having been gone two weeks, instead of the usual month. She rushed forward with Trisha, ready for the usual tackling hug, but he only pushed past them to their mother. They embraced each other a bit more tightly than usual, and he went to look at Sara without even taking off his coat.

But none of this made much sense to either Nina or Trisha, and they shrugged off their worry in the way children often do. Uncle Al came the next day and played with them while their parents stayed in the house. It was Uncle Al who tucked them in that night, and when Trisha asked where Mommy and Daddy were, he only said they were very busy and would come say goodnight later. "Come get me if you need anything," he told them, sounding very much like their father.

But still...it wasn't the same. Nina lay awake in her bed long after Trisha had fallen asleep, and thought about this. Uncle Al was very kind and compassionate and fun, but there was something so much more comforting about the scratchy kiss of her father and the gentle whisper of, 'I love you.' Something that an uncle would never be able to understand or give to her. Finally, after Nina had been lying awake for what felt like an hour, she decided she just couldn't get to sleep without being tucked in by Daddy himself.

Nina slipped out of her bed and tiptoed past her sleeping sister, squeezing carefully out the door so it wouldn't squeak. She padded softly downstairs, peeking into each room to find out where her parents were. They weren't in the kitchen (though the dirty dishes were piled up by the side of the sink), or the living room (though the light was still on). Nina continued on until she came to the small room at the back of the house that they hardly ever used: the room her mother called 'the clinic.' Once upon a time, it had been the main office for her long-dead grandparents, who had been doctors; later, Great-Granny Pinako had used it for patients' recuperation after automail surgery. This room had remained silent and pristine for almost as long as Nina could remember; her mother had no time anymore for automail engineering beyond a hobby and fixing her husband's mechanical limbs.

But this night, the light was on and Nina could hear soft voices. Soft voices, and weak, rattling breathing that sounded like something half-dead. More cautious than ever, Nina tiptoed to the door of the room and peeked in. Her parents and Uncle Al were in there, standing around a table, a table lamp casting their shadows onto the wall behind them.

"-just don't think there's any more we can do," Nina's father was saying. "I doubt she'd last the trip to East City."

"But there has to be _something_ we can do!" Nina's mother cried, her voice rising a little as she clutched his arm desperately. "How can you just stand there and say so calmly that my baby is going to die!"

Nina gasped, and it must have been loud enough for them to hear, for all three of them turned around immediately. Uncle Al was the first to speak. "Nina!" he said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, she's going to die?" Nina demanded, stepping into the room and feeling her heart rate slowly accelerating. "Didn't you say someone's going to die?" She looked between her parents, and saw her baby sister lying on the table. Her voice rose higher and higher as she spoke. "Why is Sara going to die!"

"Nina..." Uncle Al began, but just then Nina's father made a silencing motion and they all turned to the table.

Sara's breathing, which had been uneven and shallow before, became erratic, and then cut off altogether. They all waited for a few moments, then the child's mother slowly reached out and felt for a pulse. Everything seemed frozen as they waited for the verdict, and she almost seemed to be dragging the moment out as long as she could, so that she wouldn't have to admit the truth.

Suddenly, Nina's mother dropped to her knees, burying her face in her hands, and began to sob as though her heart was breaking. Nina's father immediately knelt down beside her and gathered her in his arms, and Uncle Al just stood, staring at Sara's lifeless body, in the same position he had been before.

Nina stood in the doorway, forgotten in the face of this tragedy. As she looked at her parents crying into each other's hair and her uncle numbly pulling a white sheet over the corpse on the table, she made her decision.

�

* * *

�

Nina had never been to a funeral before. She wore a pretty black dress that matched Trisha's, and stood at her parents' side as they stood before the fresh grave with the little plaque reading, 'Sara Elric, Beloved Sister and Daughter.' There were numbers underneath, but Nina already knew what day it was, and what the date two years ago had been, when her little sister had been born. She stood between her mother and the sister she still had, and stared at her fists clenched around the material of her long black skirt. Her mother and Trisha were crying, and the men were silent and solemn. But Nina paid no attention to her family. She could only stare fixedly at her hands, watching the edges of her vision waver and blur as tears began to form in her eyes. She told herself over and over that tears would accomplish nothing. Tears wouldn't bring Sara, her lovable, adorable little sister, the darling of the family, everyone's favorite child, back. Tears couldn't. But she knew there was something else that could.

At first, Nina did nothing, out of respect for the dead. But after the first week, she snuck into her father's study when her parents were at the cemetery, and pulled down a large book called _Advanced Alchemy_ from the bookshelf. Arranging the books so the gap between them wasn't so obvious, she hurried to the room she shared with Trisha. Her sister was in the corner, playing with her dolls in a subdued sort of way. Trisha looked up and smiled, though there was still sadness in her eyes. "Wanna play with me, Sister?"

"Put those dolls away, Trish," Nina said, proud that her voice sounded older than it had before. Indeed, she felt as though she had grown a year in just a few days. Sorrow ages a child faster than time ever could.

Trisha seemed to notice the new maturity in her sister's voice, because she put away her dolls without complaint. "What's that book?" she wanted to know when she was done.

Nina sat down in the corner the dolls had occupied earlier and showed the cover to her sister.

"'Advanced Alchemy,'" Trisha read as she sat down as well. "But Sister! Daddy said we haven't gotten to that level yet!"

"He said we're just about ready for it," Nina corrected. "Trisha, let's learn it ourselves. Our studies always go on hold when Dad's away." She purposefully shortened his name, feeling a fierce pleasure at how much more mature it sounded.

"Okay..." Trisha looked a little doubtful, but she bent over the introductory page of the book with her sister.

Their father and Uncle Al had only received a month's leave, so at the end of the month they left for Central once again. Enough time had passed that no one cried daily about little Sara, but if someone accidentally mentioned the name, Nina's mother would grow very quiet and stop paying attention to the conversation, and would then shut herself up in her workshop at the earliest opportunity.

Nina felt a little relieved when her father had left; she had been petrified he would come upon them and see them studying on their own. On the second day after he and Uncle Al had gone, Nina turned to her little sister as they prepared to begin their studies again. "Trisha, do you know why we're studying alchemy on our own?"

Trisha's blue eyes were serious and piercing, and Nina suddenly appreciated how perceptive her little sister truly was. "We're studying on our own so that Daddy won't find out what you're planning to do. What are you trying to learn?"

Nina looked straight at Trisha, her golden eyes carrying a challenge, a request, and a demand all rolled into one. "Human transmutation."

Trisha didn't look surprised, and she didn't look away. "Why?" she asked simply.

"To bring back our little sister. To bring back Sara, to bring back the smiles on Mom and Dad's faces! I have to do this, even if it means I have to sacrifice something precious in return."

Trisha still did not blink or look away; her eyes were as hard as blue diamonds. "Do you think we can do it?"

A determined smile lit up Nina's serious face. "By helping each other, and by careful calculation and evaluation...yes."

Trisha's face was a mirror image of her older sister's. "We are the daughters of Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist!"

"We will do this, or die trying!"

Their father and uncle had used up most of their allotted leave time, so for a few months they only called on the telephone instead of coming to Risenpool themselves. This suited Nina and Trisha's purposes, for it meant they could study without worry. They finished_ Advanced Alchemy_ and moved on to more specialized books. They could even leave papers with their notes and drawings of transmutation circles lying around, because their mother knew next to nothing about alchemy. Sometimes, she would smile at them and ruffle their hair, saying, "Following in your father's footsteps, are you?"

They would always reply with a hasty, "Yes, Mom!" before returning to their studies. They almost didn't realize it, but they were behaving less and less like children. They now called their parents Mom and Dad, spoke more seriously about increasingly complex subjects, and gave up the more childish of their games. They didn't notice the curious looks this sometimes elicited from their mother, who was beginning to wonder why they had suddenly seemed to age so rapidly. They excluded everything from their minds except alchemy and their desperate desire to bring back their sister.

When their father and uncle _did_ come home, the two girls spent the entire time afraid that someone would find out what they were up to. They told their father they had been studying _Advanced Alchemy_ on their own and wished to continue studying by themselves. He looked a little surprised and sad at first, but he let them continue. By pretending to study _Advanced Alchemy_, Nina and Trisha were able to secretly study increasingly specialized forms of alchemy that led closer and closer to human transmutation.

After almost a year of studying, during one of the months the men were away, Nina looked at Trisha and said, "The end is in sight."

Trisha's blue eyes lit up. "You mean...?"

Nina nodded and took down an old, leather-bound book from the shelf. They had looked at it months ago, but hadn't been able to make much sense of it. Now, however, when Nina opened the book at random and looked at the notes written on the thick pages, she could almost understand it. The notes were written in two separate hands; one looked like their father's, and the other was similar. "Look!" she told Trisha. "These must be his research notes! If we can just decipher them..." She trailed off, studying the writing.

"Um...Sister?" Trisha asked softly.

"Hm?" Nina grunted absently, still reading the notes in the book.

"Are...Are you sure we should be doing this?"

Nina turned to look at her sister, mouth open incredulously. "What? I thought we'd decided this a long time ago! Don't you want to make Mom and Dad happy again!"

Trisha looked at her feet, the resolve that had been in her eyes all those months ago nowhere to be found. "Yeah...I want them to be happy." She looked up at Nina again, her eyes shining with tears. "But human transmutation is a forbidden science! Shouldn't we at least ask Dad's permission first?"

Nina brought her fist down on their father's desk. "Trisha!" she said harshly, fire sparking from her eyes. "Dad couldn't save Sara! He just stood there, and said, 'There's nothing we can do!' He _gave up_, Trisha!" She gripped her little sister's shoulders and said in a soft, intense whisper, "We _can't_ give up, Trish. If it was something he couldn't do, then _we_ need to do it!"

Trisha looked into her sister's eyes for a few moments, and then a tear snaked down her cheek and she hung her head again. "You're right," she said heavily.

"Good," Nina said, satisfied, as she picked up the book again. "Then let's get started."

�

* * *

�

Ed sighed heavily, his breath fogging in the cold February air as he stepped off the train platform and onto the dusty path that served as a road.

"Something wrong?" Al asked, stepping down next to him as Ed paused to take in the view of the hills of Risenpool.

Ed glanced around at the various people still on the platform, and began to walk down the path. When he reached the top of the first hill, he answered Al's question with one of his own. "Do you know what today is?"

"Friday."

"No – the date, I mean."

"Oh." Al looked over at his brother with a sad look in his eyes as he recalled the date. "A year ago was when Sara-"

"Yeah," Ed said quickly, not wanting to dwell on that for too long. "And you know what else? Today's the twenty-fifth anniversary of the day we transmuted Mom."

Al looked even sadder as he nodded. "To think that two tragedies would happen on the same day..."

Ed took the fork that led to the hilltop cemetery, and the two brothers made their way to the graves they always visited. Ed cast his gaze over the three closest ones, reading: Pinako Rockbell, Sara Elric, and Trisha Elric. This Trisha Elric was not his daughter, thankfully, but his mother. She had been dead for decades, but he still felt a deep grief when he thought of how long it had been since he had seen her smile or heard her gentle voice. He considered how proud she would have been to watch him grow up, to see her grandchildren. He looked at the grave of his daughter, and his heart constricted tightly when he considered how little of life she had known. She had only just begun to speak, but he supposed he should be thankful that he had been able to hear her bright little voice say, 'Dada.'

He had told himself he wasn't going to cry, but it seemed that the older he became, the harder it was to restrain tears. Suddenly he felt a pressure on his shoulder, and looked over to see Al looking at him with compassion. Ed wiped his eyes on his sleeve and turned away from the gravestones. He slung his arm around Al's shoulders and said, "Come on, brother. Let's go home."

Al smiled as they started down the hill. "I wonder if Winry's made one of her apple pies..."

A short walk later, Ed opened the front door wide and sang out, "I'm ho-ome!"

Winry came rushing out, flour in her hair and on her nose. She hugged her husband and gave him a peck on the cheek, which left a white, powdery mark.

"Baking something, Winry?" Al asked when she turned to hug him.

"I was a little late with the apple pie, sorry!" Winry said cheerfully, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and making it even more floury in the process. "I knew you'd want one, Al."

"Where are the girls?" Ed asked, suddenly realizing their telling absence.

"I think they're in your study," Winry said, glancing down the hallway. "They've been in there a lot recently; I think they might be making a surprise for you."

Ed laughed. "Then I won't disturb them. I like surprises." He and Al left Winry to her baking and took their luggage upstairs. Ed poked his head into the girls' room on his way back downstairs, Al close behind him. Ed smiled and entered the room, walking over to the pile of books and notes they had left strewn about the floor. "They're just like we were when we were their age," he commented, picking up a book and leafing through it.

But then the amused smile slipped off his face. "Aren't these Dad's research notes?" he asked, showing them to Al.

Al nodded with a frown. "I'd recognize them anywhere."

Ed met his brother's gaze with a worried look. "I let them study_ Advanced Alchemy_ and even _Basic Elemental Alchemy_, but I never even showed them this book, because it's got...human transmutation in it..." He trailed off, a cold feeling sinking into his stomach.

"Then why is it here?" Al asked in confusion.

Ed gripped the book so hard his knuckles turned white, and closed his eyes. "Not my daughters," he whispered, pleading to anyone and no one. "Please, not my daughters!" Why did human transmutation haunt him at every turn? Was it punishment for the times he had done it himself? He could not deny the cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, or the voice in his head that whispered the truth to him.

Al lumbered along in the wake of his brother's thoughts, and suddenly he gasped, "You don't mean...that they're attempting to-"

"Come on!" Ed cried, roughly grabbing Al by the arm. "There might still be time!" He dropped the book as he raced out of the room, and it fell open to the page with the transmutation circle to make a complete human body.

�

* * *

�

As Trisha measured out the ingredients, careful not to smudge the marks as she placed them into the center, Nina put the finishing touches onto the large, complex transmutation circle. Trisha carefully stepped back out of the circle and knelt next to her sister.

"It's finished!" Nina said, setting the chalk aside. "You ready?"

Trisha nodded, but she looked a little hesitant.

Nina grinned confidently. "Don't worry, Trisha. It's perfect."

"Okay..." Trisha said shakily.

Nina's grin widened a little. "Let's do it!"

The sisters lifted their hands, palms down, above the transmutation circle, ready to slam them down onto the lines of chalk and activate the enormous energy required to make the body of their little sister. Just as they were about to begin the transmutation, the door to the study slammed open.

"Get away from that circle!" their father cried in a terrible voice, and they leapt away. Edward Elric had never seemed so tall, standing in the middle of their circle, towering above them, his golden eyes glinting furiously. "How _dare_ you!" he bellowed. "How _dare_ you do what I expressly told you not to! Do you realize what you've almost _done? Do you?_What were you thinking, Nina? Why did you go along with it, Trisha? I didn't raise you to attempt something this depraved!"

Openmouthed with terror, Nina stared up at her father in all his fury and numbly realized that tears were running down her cheeks. She could feel Trisha trembling at her side. She couldn't bear the look in the eyes that had often gazed fondly, proudly, lovingly, at her. She couldn't stand hearing the voice that had teased her, comforted her, spoken lovingly to her, now raised in anger. And it wasn't just the terror of the frightening expression on his face, either. What hurt most was that she had knowingly disobeyed her father, and now he was angry with her. If this was what came about from attempting human transmutation, she never wanted to touch it again. When her father's shouts dissolved into heavy breathing like a crazed bull, she managed to whisper, "I'm...sorry..."

Surprisingly, this seemed to deflate her father and all his fury. His shoulders slumped and he dropped to his knees, hunching over with his hands against the stone floor. He was still breathing heavily, but suddenly Nina noticed drops of moisture falling onto the chalk marks of the circle, blurring the lines. Was it sweat? No, she had an odd feeling that her father – her great, State Alchemist father – was crying. He lifted his face, and there was no doubt about it: tears streaked down his cheeks, and all he could do was motion wordlessly to his two daughters.

Nina and Trisha tentatively came forward, not quite sure if it was safe or if he would start shouting at them again. But all he did was pull them into a tight embrace, kissing the tops of their heads again and again. Someone stepped up next to them, and Nina's father pulled him into the embrace too. She could tell from the warm hand on her arm and the scent of cinnamon and cat hair that it was Uncle Al.

Finally, when they were hot and sweaty from being so close for so long, they slowly broke their embrace. Uncle Al, like the thoughtful person he was, fetched a box of tissues, and for a while there was only the sound of four noses being blown. Then Ed got to his feet, brushing chalk marks off his knees, and took his daughters by the hand, leading them out to the living room.

"Apple pie's ready!" Nina's mother sang out, bringing the steaming pie out to them. She stopped in the middle of the room, looking around at all the streaming noses and red, puffy eyes. "I knew colds spread fast, but-"

"Winry," Nina's father said solemnly, "it's time that Al and I told them."

She looked at her daughters, then took a defensive step back. "Not yet! We agreed you wouldn't until they were old enough to handle it!"

"They _are_ old enough."

Nina's mother plonked the pie onto the coffee table and rested her oven-mitted hands on her hips. "Nine and ten? I hardly think-"

"Trisha's almost ten herself," Nina's father said calmly. "And Nina will be eleven in June."

"Besides, Winry," Uncle Al spoke up, "we were their age when it happened."

Nina's mother glared between the two of them, but finally she snapped, "I'm getting a knife and some plates," and stomped out of the room, defeated.

"What are you going to tell us, Dad?" Trisha asked timidly, still shaken from her father's outburst before.

Their father sat down on the sofa and pulled his daughters onto his lap. They were getting too big for that, but it seemed he wanted to keep them as close as possible. Nina no longer felt as mature as she had before, and rested her head on her father's shoulder.

Nina's father shared an agreeing look with Uncle Al, then said, "We're going to tell you now why human transmutation is forbidden. Your uncle Al and I found out the hard way, and I don't want you to do what we did. Al, maybe you should start."

Uncle Al sat back in his chair, apparently thinking of the best way to put it. After a moment, he leaned forward again, and began, "Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the principle of Equivalent Trade in alchemy. We believed that to be the truth of the world when we were young."


End file.
